Christmas Parties are notoriously time for employees to let their hair down and take advantage of the free booze and grub very generously laid on by the company… However, some employees get just a little too excited when the open bar tab is on offer and working in HR means we often see or hear of the odd Christmas Party horror story that makes even us want to cringe a little. Especially when we get called in to clean up the aftermath… So sit down, grab a cuppa and get ready to cringe at these corkers…
We once heard about a company that had an obligatory Aussie BBQ on break up day, this was held at their office where copious amounts of free booze and sausages were on offer. As the afternoon wore on, certain employee’s were getting very friendly with each other and before anyone knew what to do, two employees were found copulating very loudly in the toilets… >Shock Horror!!!< Not to mention they were both married. #awkward!
2. It’s a Dragonboating disaster
I was working within an Industry Super fund and our Christmas Party started with an annual conference for 3 days, culminating in the Christmas Party on the last night. On the second day we all did a Team Building exercise in the Yarra River, right near Crown, it was a race and some of the employees got really really competitive and ended up tipping over. Queue 10 employees swimming to the side all very embarrassed and obviously wet! Next minute the channel nine news crew arrives in a helicopter and filmed the whole affair for the nightly news. The Christmas party was obviously quite boring after this eventful activity.
On many occasions I have attended Christmas Parties where employees get so drunk they proceed to vomit everywhere, in the toilets, at the table, on the dancefloor, but my personal favourite is when an employee passed out at a Christmas Party I attended at the table of a rather up market restaurant. Not only did they proceed to vomit all over themselves, but then they pooped their pants too! #awkward Needless to say this poor employee never came back to work after the Christmas break!! #poopypants
Another famous story that has been bandied around our office is about a company that took all it’s employee’s on an end of year trip to Fiji. The trip ended up being a bit of a disaster with one employee getting so drunk that she decided to get extremely frisky with well anyone and everyone! She was pulling her dress up over her ears, shaking her butt in front of all the male employee’s faces, and even getting down on all fours and barking like a dog. A few employees stepped in and tried to take her to her room, and gently get her to pass out. But no, she then proceeded to somehow break into a male colleagues room in the middle of the night stark naked and profess her undying love for him. OMG is all we can say here. #alittlebritney
The end of Christmas party often includes a speech from the head honcho to dole out the obligatory thank yous and awards and a recap of the year that was. At one Christmas party I attended one of the sales guys got so drunk he decided to heckle the Managing Directors speech with a barrage of “Bullsh##ts” and “F##ckyous# to the point where he had to be forcibly removed from the premises from security. Picture a Donald Trump style rally on steroids. The crowd all got involved in the ejection making the whole situation extremely hostile and embarrassing! Needless to say this person never returned to the workplace. #pieface
One story bandied around our office was that of a naughty CEO who was notorious for getting sozzled and then very “handsey” at the annual Christmas party. This culminated in him getting so drunk one year that he fully groped one of the new rather attractive call centre employees. Little did he know that this young girl’s dad was a QC and later filed a rather expensive sexual harassment case against him. Luckily she has an entire Company worth of witnesses to back up her story. #epicfail
I once worked within a business that insisted on doing Silent Santa or Kris Kringle on their last day of work. The team was pretty young and silly so many gifts actually took on a rather sexual or inappropriate nature. One of my colleagues got edible undies and another rather overweight employee got given diet pills! Totally inappropriate!! #awks
Another great office story we heard is about a rather large Manufacturing company where every year at the Christmas party one very Senior Manager liked to get dressed up as Santa. He loved handing out all the Kris Kringle presents. It was also pretty well known that this Manager liked a drink, but one year Santa got a little bit too excited about the free booze. He got so obscenely drunk that he became verbally abusive, swearing, slurring and cussing at everyone. He then started making crude jokes about people’s outfits, hair and work performance. Then it all got very awkward when he tried to stand up and he took the entire buffet table with him. Funniest thing was he pretty much just stayed where he was for the rest of the night. All sprawled out on the floor amongst the potato salad and cold meats. #RealBadSanta!
One of our employees shared a rather funny story about an ex employer where at the annual Christmas Party held in a pretty swanky restaurant the CEO got very very drunk and then got all like cray cray and proceeded to pick a fight with a bunch of business blokes on a nearby table. No one really understood what set him off but lucky for said CEO that the team stood in, ushered him to the nearest exit and crisis averted #closecall
Last but not least, one of our employees shared a story about a small Christmas Party held in a local restaurant where one of her female colleagues decided to take a liking to one of the young cute bar tenders. She proceeded to flirt with this lucky young man all night, culminating in a very public, drunken pash across the bar. Funniest thing was, this young lady was due to get married in a few months and half of her colleagues were invited to the wedding. #onelastdirtypash
Written by Resident Head Guru Emily Jaksch